Grief: Finding Our Way Through The Darkness

photo courtesy of Lukas

"It takes great courage and strength to feel our emotions, to let the tears fall, to allow our feelings of sadness and despair.  But this is how we heal, one moment, one day at a time......"   

I wanted to write an entry on grief.  I've been meaning to for a long time now, but somehow I always put it off. After the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, it prompted me further.  It’s not an easy subject, but having my own experiences with grief that have profoundly changed my life, I wanted to write something that might be helpful.   It is my belief that where there is darkness, there is the capacity for great light too, and so, I cannot write about grief without writing about hope.

We grieve because we love. It’s that simple. If I knew a way around this, I would tell you. There is nothing stronger on Earth than love. The grief we feel speaks to the connections that we have with one another, 
to the preciousness of our relationships and honors the love and experiences we've shared. Everyone experiences grief in their own way. For me, I sometimes think of grief as a road, maybe a journey, or landscape of some kind; one where we cannot see our way through, but are guided by the stars illuminated in the sky.  It is here, when we face the darkness, and look deep into the heart of our sadness that the brilliance of our hope and love shine so bright. And then, in moments like these, we may feel some peace and comfort in our hearts, our grief transcended.

It’s one of those universal paradoxes that there are gifts in loss.  I often feel like it’s the compassion of the universe lending its hand. These gifts can range in an outpouring of love and support from our community and friends to a rebirth and renewal.  This rebirth or reset as someone I know calls it can be more like an awakening or a new awareness, a gratitude for life, of bringing us closer to who we are and to what we want out of life, of being more authentically who we want to be and living the kind of life we want to have. It can make us more aware of how precious the people around us are and how precious are own life is.  It can motivate us to make the world a better place. 

And so, it’s important to give ourselves permission to grieve.  There is no time table for this.  It would be nice if it passed quickly, and sometimes it does, but it’s one of those times in life that the way out is through.  This means allowing ourselves to feel and process our emotions in the amount of time we need.  It takes great courage and strength to feel our emotions, to let the tears fall, to allow our feelings of sadness and despair.  But this is how we heal, one moment, one day at a time......   

There are many positive things we can do to help ourselves through this time. Here are a few:

Take your time in healing yourself..... 

Do what you feel like, move towards those things that inspire you and gives you comfort..... 

Eat well, and sleep when you can......

Walking, hiking, and any exercise in general is very helpful...... 

Writing, journaling, reading, prayer, and meditation help too...... 

Of course, talking to a therapist or grief counselor or joining a support group is also very helpful.....


Related Post:
Kindness


I dedicate this to my sister, who in her absence taught us to love better.  And to those who have shared their own stories in their sadness....xo……..

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